Have you ever said something to someone and then instantly regretted it? Whether it was a cutting tone or a poor choice of words, you suddenly wished you could take it back? Later, you may have wondered, “Where did that come from?”
Jesus says it came straight from your heart.
As leaders, we do a lot of talking. Every meeting, conference call, or tweet poses both opportunity and risk. We can inspire and encourage; we can just as easily offend and tear down. Words are that powerful.
If what Jesus said is true and our words are a reflection of our hearts, then the condition of our hearts will determine how we lead. It will influence how long people will follow us and how much of themselves they will be willing to invest in our vision. That is why it is important to discover the health of your heart. While I’m sure there are other causes of unhealthy hearts, I’ve identified four that seem to be the most common: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy.
The guilty leader believes “I owe you.” He thinks he deserves to be punished for past bad behavior. A guilty leader keeps secrets by building walls and is often distant and distracted. He isolates himself by maintaining a professional and businesslike persona. He finds it difficult to trust his employees. As a result, a guilty leader has difficulty building and maintaining a team. His is a culture marked by micro-management and professional courtesy, rather than genuine community.
If you’ve identified these “guilty leader” qualities in yourself, there is a habit you can establish to counteract it. You can admit your own past failures and your current mistakes. It may not make sense, but people tend to be wary of leaders who deny failures or weaknesses, but will follow those who freely confess their mistakes and shortcomings.
The angry leader believes “You owe me!” She overreacts to unmet expectations, blames people rather than systems, and punishes failure. She has difficulty accepting responsibility for her own failures and focuses on the failures of others. This results in short fuses and depression. She lives in constant payback mode. The culture she creates is full of fear and cover-up, where right is defined by what pleases her. Team members spend more time anticipating her responses than figuring out what is best for the organization.
There is a remedy for this behavior as well. Successful leaders acknowledge they have grown the most from their failures. We need to look at the failures of our team members as opportunities for them to grow as well. We must practice and teach forgiveness. Below is a great illustration of forgiveness within the context of leadership.
Tom Watson, Sr., founder of IBM, understood this principle. A junior executive with the company once managed to lose over $10 million in a venture that was considered risky even by company insiders. When Watson found out about the disaster, he called the young man to his office. Upon entering, the young man blurted out, “I guess you want my resignation?” Watson allegedly responded, “You can’t be serious. We’ve just spent $10 million educating you.”
Source: Unknown
The greedy leader believes “I owe me.” Greed is a disease that does not only apply to your possessions or your bank accounts. A greedy leader is reluctant to share credit or the rewards of success. He often “steals” the good ideas of others and claims them as his own. Also, he will sacrifice the good of the organization for the sake of personal advancement. He is not concerned with fair play, but wants to win at any cost. His is a culture where greed breeds greed.
A powerful antidote to greed is to freely share the rewards of your success and to generously recognize the achievements of others. You will “share the spotlight,” even diverting it from you to others. People will willingly follow you if you aren’t threatened by their success, but instead actively encourage it.
The jealous leader believes “God owes me.” A jealous leader is quick to point out the faults of others, reluctant to facilitate someone else’s success, and is critical of successful people in similar fields. She is threatened by strong, talented, or popular people, and measures her own success in terms of others’ failures. Hers is a culture that does not recognize and reward high potential, but instead is filled with negativity and is void of leadership development. With “one chief and lots of Indians,” her organization will never rise above her abilities.
The most effective (and least intuitive) way to break the power of jealousy in your life is to publicly celebrate the things that threaten you privately. This includes celebrating the victories of those around you. When that leader of your rival organization receives the award you wanted, applaud him. Become his biggest cheerleader. It will transform your heart.
How Do You Maintain a Healthy Heart?
These heart conditions cannot be fixed simply through talent, education, or experience. They must be “monitored” on a regular basis. So, build into your calendar regular times to answer the following questions:
What is the condition of my heart?
What is currently going on in my life that I hope nobody discovers?
What is the one question I hope nobody asks me?
Am I angry with anybody?
Have I secretly celebrated someone’s failure in the past several days?
When is the last time I publicly celebrated someone’s success?
Just imagine what would happen if you were to adopt these habits. What could you accomplish? It begins with you, the leader. Remember, you shape the culture of your organization and you can determine the effectiveness of your leadership.
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